Balsam - 鳳仙花
by SassySizzleMonster
Summary: Yeah, leave a shitty life for the next best thing, oh wait. Born into a world in the time of war? Children learning to kill, to fight on the front-lines? Sign me up! Not. I'd rather read the story than be in it. I wasn't sure if I could handle being Rin, if I could handle fighting for my life, or even handle my own death. SI Self-Insert, OC, AU-ish
1. 私は欲しいにあなた。。。 - I Want You To

**Balsam - 鳳仙花**

"Don't touch me."

「私に触れないで」

The balsam, fallen silent.

黙り込んだ鳳仙花

And yet it can't leave it's seeds,

殻を破らないと

Unless it breaks from it's shell.

種も遺せないのにね

_Translation by zcatcracker_

_Balsam by Kurose Madoka_

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**A/N: **I would suggest you be caught up with the manga to understand this, there are definitely some spoilers if you aren't. Unless you just don't give a shit.

**Warning:** I cuss. Yep.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, silly~

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**私は欲しいにあなた。。。- I want you to. . .**

You could say I always had a way of finding trouble. More like an innate skill that seemed to only affect me and none of my sisters. _They_ were the good ones, _they_ were the perfect little angels, always having a good day for no apparent reason. Tch. Lame.

Me? There was no such thing as a good day. I had better ones, just no good ones. Well, unless you didn't consider the days my favorite manga updated, then I really didn't have better days. Including those, I could tell you that even if life was hell, I could always count on Naruto to cheer me up. He was my sunshine, my ray of hope that made the dark seem far away, it didn't matter to him one bit who you are, as long as you were his friend. He wouldn't care that I was the daughter of a whore, the sister to scholars, someone who was nothing to this world.

I sighed, dragging it out for my mother to hear. She hissed, her eyes darkening at the sight of me. Despite being first born, I was the least likely to make it in the world. Even though I was 18, I was dependent on this woman as well, having no college money, no place to go, and absolutely no idea to get out of my situation. I was working 3 jobs, all part time and sometimes even added an extra one just so I could procure enough money to make my mom happy. To feed her greedy obsession for stage clothes. I couldn't wait until she retired from her job at the strip club, until Lenny made her, maybe she'd be less of a bitch and more like the mother she once was.

"Get out," She said. "I can't see your face right now."

I nodded, heading for the door with an over night bag, something I had always ready just in case she was in one of these moods, which was quite frequent. I slept on the streets often enough to know you always needed one.

_Click_, the door opened and I was free.

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

Remember how I always brought myself trouble? Yeah, tonight was one of those nights.

"Ooh, looksie here, Mike, we got a real looker," rumbled a deep monotone. I turned in my sleeping bag to see two men walking closer and closer. I paused, maybe they weren't talking to me. I had a nice face, but only a little over my average body. I cringed, the smell of them a distinct scent of urine and vomit. Ew.

"Yeah, maybe we can have some fun with her, Jorge." Mike, the smelliest one bellowed. I pushed myself deeper into my blankets, hoping that I wouldn't be harmed, maybe they weren't such bad guys? I had no luck. I pinched my eyes shut.

I screamed as they suddenly grabbed my sleeping bag, heaving me up. Even still, I kept my eyes shut, hoping for an end I was too unlucky to get. Maybe they'll let me go? Walk away? Yep, I was really a doomed person to begin with.

The men walked even farther into the alley, then slammed me against the concrete. I stifled a cry, hands going to my face. The legs came down hard to my ribs, a resounding _crack_ upon impact. I began to sob, thankfully that's when I forced myself to unconsciousness so I didn't really want to know exactly what the hell had happened. I hoped it was over, I really did.

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(｡・/ε/・｡)

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"It's a girl!" A cheery voice called at my awakening, it was definitely Japanese, a language I was self-taught at. I stiffened recalling her cry, yeah, of course I was a girl, had been since as long as I could remember. I blinked, my eyes heavy and blurred. Funny, I remembered having perfect vision.

"What should we name her?" An exhausted, quiet voice whispered into my ear. I looked up, shocked at the proximity yet pleased with the comfort I revieced from her grip on me. Wait...this was a woman, was...was she was holding me? I had only begun to feel my body, it was raw and probably pinked from the sudden whoosh of air that feathered my skin. I suddenly realized that I had been crying, tears that slid down my cheeks dripped down my towel or blanket, whatever it was.

"It's all up to you, sweetie." I heard a soft rumble from the side. I turned to look but still saw blurry colors, shifting around like a rainbow being reflected off of water. There were other things too, a buzz that filled my ears and filled my body, like a companion that reminded you constantly they were there for you.

"I think...Rin." The woman murmured softly, stroking the fine hair on my head, a sigh escaping her lips. It wasn't one of exasperation, or anger, or pain. It wasn't mothers. It was...what I'd always wanted. A happy sigh of unmasked relief. "Nohara Rin, sounds wonderful doesn't it? "

My heart stopped.

"She'll grow up to be a fine shinobi," purred the nurse, the one who called out my gender for the world to know. Shinobi. Shinobi. _Shinobi._ The word was like a weapon to my neck, a kunai more like.

Suddenly it all hit me. Washing over me like a wave that belonged to the beginning of a tsunami. My arms chilled and the once warm embrace from the woman turned cold. Was this what I thought it was?

"Our little Rin," The deep voice rumbled again, was this...if I was correct this was Rin's father? Rin...from my favorite manga? Shinobi as in...ninja? I bursted into couldn't be real, this just couldn't be. It wasn't possible, nope. Just wasn't possible. I lived in a boring world, a sad one with no heroes that came out to rescue the weak, the lonely, and the defenseless. I lived in a place where ninja's were only in the past, something where real chakra didn't reside. It wasn't a place where you could be hugged with such warmth, with such love...

This wasn't real so I was dreaming a happy dream, good. Maybe I subconsciously wanted to be Rin? So, because of my terrible ordeal with the men that seemed like old news, I allowed myself this small bit of happiness.

I sighed, relaxing once again into the woman's hold. She continued to rub my body- small and compact- in her hands. It was so soothing that I was able to finally sleep, finding that I felt utterly and entirely exhausted. I felt her presence the most, the buzz was stronger, warmer and much more comforting than any cup of hot tea. I liked my tea. You could call it an obsession, always having to have tea.

When I woke up to find I was still a baby and not my teenage _grown_ self, I threw another fit. I wasn't particular in believing I could possibly be in Rin's body, I mean come on. It's just not possible. I can't accept that. I may never accept it. I refuse to. I never liked Rin all that much, in fact the only thing I could say I could respect her for was when she sacrificed herself for the sake of Konoha, knowing if she crossed the border she would be the end it. I paused. Now that I thought about it, I_ really_ didn't want to be Rin. I continued to pray for my return to my natural world, to stop hallucinating and to get back. Then when no magic witchcraft happened, I cried some more.

"Oh, what a little crybaby." The nurse cooed, taking me from the woman's reluctant release. Oh god no, oh no. I continued to cry that day, unable to comprehend. The signs were everywhere, the people walking around with their hitai-ate that donned the leaves symbol, heck even on the walls I saw held a picture of Hiruzen, looking rather not anime-ish, but human. He looked _real_.

Oh dear lord, please...I wanna go home? I've had enough of playing Rin, thank you very much.

There was no reply.

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(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

Life being baby Rin was about as exciting as watching a horse fly race with another horse fly. It was boring as hell, and my mind wouldn't sit still.

I had died so I had been reborn...as Rin. As someone meant to lead a short life.

I'm going to die. I'm going to be forced to take the Sanbi inside of me, inside of Rin's body, our body. To give up my second chance at life for the safety of Konoha. I'm going to cause the hatred that corrupted Obito, I'm going to be the catalyst of something that ends the lives of so many characters. Ahem, people. They were people now. Maybe.

Suddenly I hated life a little bit more. Yeah, leave a shitty one for the next best thing, oh wait. Born into a world in the time of war? Children learning to kill, to fight on the front-lines. I'd rather read the story than be in it. I wasn't sure if I could be Rin, if I could handle fighting for my life, or if I'd be able to learn how to be a medic-nin, I remembered Tsunade had said something about medical ninjutsu being one of the hardest things to learn, you needed precise chakra control, which I wasn't sure I could manage. Sure it looked easy enough, but you could seriously hurt someone with the mystical palm technique if you put too little or too much chakra into the healing, I was terrified I'd have the worst track record for accidental murders. Oh god.

My parents had made it incredibly clear to me that I was going to be a ninja, a kunoichi to help with the house. They loved me of course, they had to. I was their only daughter. They were civilians but that was okay, civilians tended to be more softer when dealing with children anyways, which probably wasn't the best for me, but they seemed pretty hell bent on making me a trained killer. Cool. Not so cool.

I guess with an oncoming war and everything, even civilians were pushed to give birth to soldiers.

My first words were "no". I'm sure for the original Rin it was probably something more like "friendship," or something like that. Sometimes I felt bad about that, stealing from the real Rin, but how I usually saw it was that Rin's body was mine, it was me. I grew so used to it over time, and only very rarely apologized to Rin.

Now, enough about infant me. That time in my life I just wanted to forget, constantly having to have my ass wiped, be spoon fed and had to be given bathes by hand. Ugh. It was so awkward, I knew they were parents and that was their job to take care of me but I couldn't wait until I could walk on my own damn legs.

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(｡・/ε/・｡)

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By the time I was five, I was shipped off to attend the academy, which I was thankful to have as a way to relieve my boredom. I don't care what anyone says, being a baby and in the Narutoverse wasn't very satisfactory in terms of learning, or in movement, I ran around a lot as a toddler but tended to reserve myself from anyone besides my parents, in fear that if I saw anyone from the cast with my own eyes...I'd never be able to go back, fix my crap life.

Being forced into the academy, I had to face these people, these ninja who would someday train some of the strongest little brat warrior's in probably history. I didn't have that future. I didn't have anything.

At the opening ceremony for our class, we each got orientation papers, which were supposed to be read and filled out for official documents, that kind of stuff. I faintly remembered Obito had been late for the entrance ceremony...but Rin had handed him his papers. I was scared that entire morning. What if something bad happened. Something I couldn't take back.

I looked at my fellow class-mates, seeing those familiar faces, those god-awful faces that gave me nightmares. Kakashi was there, and I could faintly imagine him stabbing me through my heart, ripping it out for exposure. Guy was there, his face the most identical to his older one, and Asuma who hardly looked like himself. Hayate, the one who died before the last chunin exam during Naruto's time. Genma, chewing on his straw. Kurenai, shyly smiling around, getting the same look at her future classmates. Then there were so many more people, people that I didn't recognize, the shinobi that would fight along side us.

We are_ shinobi_, not just leaf ninja. That's what made us all equals.

After a moment of finding my composure, I grabbed an extra set of orientation documents. I closed my eyes, gripping the folders in my hands, praying I didn't do anything that would be considered wrong. The ceremony was closing soon, and I worried if he'd skip out, might've had something un-canon happen to him. When I opened my eyes, I found myself staring at the gate of the school...a goggled child bending over, wheezing. As if I had brought him there myself, what perfect timing.

Kakashi gave him a lazy look, everyone else either chatted about or didn't care.

"Am...I late?" An out of breath Obito breathed out, eyes fleeting around the yard. He stood up straight, looking over us students, everyone was there already, and I couldn't help but think we had been waiting up for him, waiting for such a person to arrive to brighten our lives. He sure brightened mine. I approached him as he approached us, everyone passed him, paying him no mind. With a smile, my hands stretched out to give him the documents. Our eyes met.

"Hi, I'm Rin." I stated, grin broadening.

"O-obito. Uchiha Obito!" He shouted out, his own smile nearly stopping my heart. Oh, my goodness. Obito was the cutest thing ever.

"C'mon! The ceremony is about to end!" I told him, grabbing his tiny wrists with my tiny palms, leading him around.

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(｡・/ε/・｡)

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Whoever thought the first year at the academy for ninjas was going to be like kindergarten was wrong, namely me. I thought we were going to sing songs about great heroes, learn our kana, and maybe even a few kanji. Yeah we still did that, but the songs talked about death and fighting, the kanji we did learned involved namely weapons and words that would only make sense to a ninja. We were expected to throw kunai's with deadly accuracy by the end of the year, being one of the first things we learned. I think that the years here were probably tougher than what Naruto and friends had to deal with, we were being bred for war, there was no active war during Naruto's time, so therefore we had to learn quicker.

I learned all this the first day of school.

"Class, hush, hush!" My teacher called, voice grating my ears. "This is Nohara Rin." I was the last to be introduced after the entrance ceremony. We all had sat in the classroom, introducing ourselves in front of the board. Now I was the last one to go up. Suddenly I felt like Obito, my heart picking up with unease. What if they don't like me? I stared on towards my classmates, namely the ones from the story.

These people would be the future, they would protect this village a lot longer than I would be alive. They would see the end I didn't get to...

"Hi, Nohara-san." The class echoed together, boredom mixed with excitement.

"Tell us, Rin-chan, what do you want to be when you graduate?" My teacher asked, eyes fleeting around me.

"I want to be a medic-nin, and I want to protect my village with my life." I stated proudly, a smile blossoming on my lips. I couldn't lie about that, I wanted to protect these people for as long as I could. I couldn't even find myself jealous of their futures.

I retreated to my desk, the one my teacher waved me to, eyes downcasted and cheeks aflame. Absentmindedly, I rubbed the purple rectangles on my face, it wasn't makeup or tape like I'd always thought, it was my own flesh, there since I was born. It felt oddly comforting to rub it though, like I had some importance after all.

"Hey, you can sit here instead," I heard a soft voice call, I turned to see a petite girl with long curly black hair and eyes that shone a bright red. Kurenai. I gave a curt nod, my cheeks becoming flames once again. This was Kurenai, and she was the most adorablest thing I had seen all day (okay let's be honest, Obito was). She reminded of Hinata, but she was a little more open if she had insisted I sit with her.

So I sat next to her and tried my hardest not to look around the room, to spot the others that I knew. To spot that specific person I knew.

I heard snickering behind me and forced myself to sit still and face the teacher who had started off rambling about some legend I'd never heard of. This suddenly felt too real, too vivid to just be a dream. This was my life. I was Rin. I had to begrudgingly accept this short life and make the best of it.

After a brief assignment with our letters- the katakana and hiragana I already knew so I got it done the fastest- we went outside for kunai practice, which according to my teacher we should be able to do on our first day. I cringed to know I was behind, I wasn't from a ninja family so everyone was already far ahead of me when it came to the basics, having family that taught them. Sure, I was good at the academic part of this society, but when it came to ninja stuff? I wasn't sure I could do it. Especially with limbs as awkward and gangly as mine. As Rin's.

"Y-your name is Rin right?" I heard a hesitant voice from behind me. I turned, reluctantly, to look at the speaker. It wasn't familiar or anything, not even Kurenai's voice was familiar to me. They were too young to grow into their voices though, so I kept eyes and ears peeled. My breath hitched. I waved Kurenai away, as she had been patiently instructing me on how to hold a kunai.

I nodded. "Y-yeah, and you are?" I asked, suddenly knowing the answer but hoping to be proved wrong.

His eyes brightened significantly, "I'm Ebisu." He looked only slightly shorter than me, he was my age with dark eyes and weird ass hair. He blushed, looking down at the ground, pawing his foot in the grass. Wait. Wait just one fricken moment. I've been here in this school for less than an hour and what do you know? I had myself a little admirer.

Guess I was slightly glad to see Ebisu, I hadn't liked him much in the manga, too stick-in-the-ass for my tastes. Maybe he'd be better as a friend than an instructor.

"Can I show you how to throw the kunai? I already know how." Ebisu asked, eyes still downcasted. I looked at the short wooden knife in my hand. Then to Kurenai who sat in the grass by one of the targets. I shook my head.

"Kurenai-san is teaching me already," I said. "Thanks though, maybe you could give me a few tips later."

He frowned, then nodded, turning to leave with a small smile my way. Huh. I paced my way back to Kurenai, trying my best to smile despite the beat of my heart racing. I breathed to calm my nerves.

"Hey," I said, making Kurenai look up from the tiny flowers that dotted the fields. She smiled, her red eyes glistening a slight sheen of what must have been tiny tears. I dropped by her side, not caring that the look the teacher shot us meant we were doing exactly what she didn't want us to. I was tempted to flip her the bird. "What's the matter?"

"Huh?" She wiped at her eyes. "Oh, I just yawned."

"Oh." Well that's embarrassing, I had legit thought she was crying. I was so stupid. No one needed my help here in that way, of course. So I shouldn't want to help others with emotional problems, even if that's what I had experience dealing with in the past world. Mostly what friends I had where people who laid out all their problems on me, never bothering to hear mine. It was habit by now to assume the worse. But here? No, you have to deal with your own problems on your own. That's what growing up here was. You're on your own, kid.

"Ugh, it's so hot out today." She murmured, rubbing her legs with her thumbs. I nodded.

"My parents forced me to bring sunblock, they're such worry-warts, you want some?" Oh god she was adorable. I gulped. She nodded and we both ignored the teacher and headed back to the room, searching for my bag. Once found, I searched for the sunblock container and yanked it out, handing it to Kurenai with ease. Then we of course, as good little students, headed back to just sit on our asses and talk. I hadn't though Kurenai ballsy enough to ignore teachers, or to flat out deny their existence, but she had to have had a rebellious streak somewhere in her

"Girls!" The teacher started, realizing that we were just chatting away while the class did their drills. I snorted, getting up from my spot on the grass, hand reaching out to help Kurenai up. She smiled at me gratefully.

"So, why don't you show me how to throw that kunai?" I smirked. She nodded, a bright smile at her lips. She was such a cutie.

I hoped I'd never have to deal with the others I knew that wasn't Kurenai. I was fine with her. If she needed a friend, due to the lack of female others, then gosh dangit, I'd be her BFFL. Though I had to admit...I needed a friend as well. Well either way I'd be with her until my death, which was fine by me.

Kurenai and I made a non-verbal pact after that first practice, to meet there everyday and become the best god damn kunoichi we could be for our village, so we would practice every day on our training, focusing not on becoming number one, but by becoming a great asset to the village.

We became close friends after that, and I was surprised how I hardly felt guilty anymore. I may not have been Nohara Rin from the start, but I was her now. I was her and maybe that made her me. I wondered if in some other place she was still the same her, maybe when I came here she took my place? Maybe she started living in my world. I hoped she did, ever since I got here, I had been troubled by the knowledge that I'd die, maybe she could live a longer life in my world. One where she wouldn't have to fight. One where she had loving parents that didn't want you to become a ninja. To surrender your life for the sake of the village.

Sometimes I hated this village. I had seethed at the fact that I had been born just to be made to die, I was expendable. I wouldn't even last long enough to see the end, I had died just before I could.

But just as much as I loathed such a place, I could love it with all of my heart. This was my home, of course I'd give my life to protect it, of course I would do anything to keep this village safe. Even though I felt cheated, I wouldn't give up this lifestyle even if I was at teeth and nails, even if I was bleeding out with no way to hold on to life. If I could, I would take this life with me. The memories belonged to me now, not Rin. This was my life, no matter how stolen it was.

No matter how pathetic that was, I hoped it meant something.

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

"H-hi, Rin-san!" I was greeted first thing in the morning, my mouth gaped wide open. There, standing right before me was Uchiha Obito, once again. I felt myself flush at the cute tiny version of himself, he wore those adorable goggles and his signature smile, a blush gracing his skin. I felt the desire to just pull him into a hug, to erase whatever bad things plagued him, that would plague him.

_Take a good look, Rin. This is the boy that you break, that_ _you_ destroy.

I gave him a pained look, to him it may have looked like I was uncomfortable, which I was, but in the face of the truth. My death would affect more than just me. It would effect him the most.

_The Uchiha are said to love too much. Then once they lose it, there's only that insanity to take it's place,_ I thought with wide eyes. Then I realized that my expressions weren't really helping much. But they were, maybe if he'd never fallen in love with Rin, maybe that when I died and he hadn't had loved me he wouldn't...be in so much pain. If I could protect anything, I would want to protect him.

Even in my old life, I had the luck to actually fall in love with his character, Obito had made my heart ache, made me want to hold him...I wanted to give him the love he desired from Rin. Now I _was_ Rin.

I shot him a haughty look, feeling the stab of guilt wash over me in secret. My heart felt heavy, like a crushing weight that wouldn't let go. _That's Kakashi's hands, crushing your heart because you turned your back on him._ My eyes intent on heading towards Kurenai. If I could stop anything, anything at all. It'd be the love that would eventually break him. That would kill the man I knew. Make him something...like Madara. I wouldn't be able to take knowing my death would have such an effect on him.

Hearing him say those words...I wouldn't be able to help knowing he felt that way.

I looked back to see him still standing there, fiddling with his jacket, I cursed at myself but had to persist. This was for the best. I couldn't have him, no matter how much I wanted or wished I could.

For his sake.

For the rest of the day, I continued to look at him when he wasn't looking at me, when he did turn to see me, I'd fiddle with a doodle in my notebook, surprising even myself when my hand came away to see what on earth I was drawing. Ugh. I had it bad even before I'd officially met the kid, I had drawn several pictures of Obito, many profiles in an assortment of ages. I had even went through adding his name to every page of art. And don't underestimate my talent for art, in my old life it was the only thing I counted myself good at, realistic or otherwise, I could draw a mean portfolio.

Then I went through erasing it all, my eraser no more by the end of it, and even then you could see the soft lines of his face, the scars I had absentmindedly added. Gah, I had it _really_ bad.

Several days passed just like this, not learning anything I didn't already know, a dull boring part of my day that only grew exciting when we had our physical exercise. As Rin, I didn't have to worry it would seem if my body was capable, it was practically_ made_ for this activity. I wasn't the best student in class, no, not at all. Despite my knowledge of Naruto, there were clan kids that had been taught the same damn things before coming here, the whole competitive streak that drove everyone to study, to do their best. Well not everybody. There was Asuma and a few others.

I found that he was surprisingly laid-back, not that he hadn't been in the manga, just it was surprising to see him so chill. Oh and alive. Don't forget that.

Anko was probably the only other girl in this class, besides Kurenai and I. I could understand immediately why Kurenai hadn't wanted to befriend such a person, hardly ever seeing her with the woman even in the future when they had been in the same year. Anko was a little...crazy. Even at that age. Too loud for us, but that seemed to suit her just fine. We didn't regard each other with venom, even went out our way to exchange small smiles. Good times.

Ah...who else, there was Gai. He was a real word-smith, couldn't remember my face yet, but I hoped we could end up friends at least. Even at that age, he was spouting nonsense about youth. It was comfortable to be near him, he was familiar and his face didn't change much over time.

Then there was Hayate, Genma, Raido, Ibiki, Aoba...people I had little to no interest in them. They were cool and everything, but only has side-character's who could still kick ass.

Then there was Kakashi, whose father hadn't committed suicide yet at this point in time. He was the lazy, genius as well, reading books at a higher grade level than me, showing us kids up with his prodigy status. It wouldn't surprise me that by next year, he'd be long gone, already a genin.

I would have to wait for the version of Kakashi I knew, even if I'd never see it myself. I was patient though, always patient.

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(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

"So," Kurenai began, eying me with a blush. It was a year later, a huge jump but with nothing of note to relay, other than Kakashi's graduation. I was just a six year old now, learning more tasking skills at the Academy to take on the world I guess. "I-I have this crush.."

"Is it Asuma?" I asked, unable to stop my forming grin. Her eyes widened, putting her hand to her mouth with a gasp.

"How did you know?!" She said, disbelieving. Then she took a quick glance around, hoping no one heard us. I chuckled, running my hand through her hair affectionately.

"'Cause we're friends, after all." I exclaimed, hiding the beam of delight on my face. "I think you should confess, you guys are perfect together."

"Eh? What confidence you have..." Kurenai murmured with a pout. I shook my head, no confidence, just the comfort I had when with the adorable kunoichi. "H-how should I do it?"

"U-uh, you should...just go up to him and say it. We're kunoichi, no reason not to be upfront about it."

"Right!" She nodded, her eyes narrowing with her determination. She really was the cutest of us all, lucky Asuma. Then she looked at me, curiosity edging her eyes. I tilted my head. "By the way...who do you like?"

"Pft, no one. These sleezy guys? Hell no." I said immediately before I spouted the wrong thing. I _like_ Obito, I _liked_ Obito, I_ love_ Obito. My mind repeated it over, and over again, a mantra that welled my heart up with pain. I hesitated when speaking again, "I-I'm not interested in any of them."

"Hm," Her eyes hanged in thought, then nodded. "You would tell if you did, right?"

"Always."

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

I was rushing to get out the door to be on time, it was of course that cliche late morning with bread in mouth scene.

"Hurry, Rin!" Mama yelled behind me, waving me off with a smile. I nodded, smiling back at her, crumbs slipping from my toast as I did so. Then I ran off, munching the toast as I went, using my natural chakra control to boost my speed, I would be out of chakra by the time I got to school, having the measly reserves I possessed, but it was worth it if I could end up on time.

I raced past the streets, breath hitching at my struggle to keep the chakra caked at my feet. In the morning, the streets were fairly busy, so I tended to use the roofs, but that would waste more of my time jumping onto one, this would be quicker is what I thought. I'd never been late once to class in this life, not something I wanted to do either. It wasn't like they punished you or anything, it just...I didn't want to be late. Today we were beginning chakra control practices, and I didn't want this day to start off bad right from the get go.

I should've known that with my luck, that just wasn't possible.

As I rounded a corner, the last bit of bread was swallowed down my throat, I was struck by something.

Wait...not just something...it was a person something. I sat up, rubbing my head, looking down at the the other poor soul. I took a major slide back upon eye contact, rushing to gather my things with haste, lest he spot me.

"Rin?"

_Dammit, just keep running._ So I did. That day I didn't make it to school on time, but neither did he.

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(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

**3rd POV - Uchiha Obito**

Obito glanced around, head muddled from the collision, when he looked up, he was sure he saw the girl he had begun to admire in secret, Rin. She had turned too quickly, shielding her cheeks in her hands but the clothes- her regular everyday civilian attire -told Obito that this was her, his tiny crush.

"Rin?" He questioned, hands coming to rub at his eyes. When he looked back, she was gone from sight, he shrugged. Rin didn't like him much as it was, and he would do absolutely anything to change that, if only she'd let him have that chance. Obito stood up, brushing the dust from his clothes, while doing so spotting a paged binder, a journal of sorts.

He had never been the best student, so he never carried those things around, just brought himself so this had to be Rin's. Something she didn't pick up when she was gathering her books into her hands. That didn't make sense, she was usually incredibly careful with her things, which was a characteristic he liked about her.

_Property of Nohara Rin,_ the spine read as he went to pick it up. Gasp, was this a chance he had earned from all his time spent helping the elderly cross roads and helping small kittens out of trees? He grinned, yes he could already imagine what would happen at the prospect of giving her her journal back. He could taste the victory, smell the admiration that she would begin to have.

_"Oh, Obito!" She would say, her warm brown eyes dancing with her obvious passion. She would be so grateful to him, he was her hero now. "How could I ever repay you?" She would ask, eyes wide with wonder. Then she would throw herself into his arms, and Obito would smell the vanilla scented shampoo she used, not that he stalked her or anything(he was way to young to be that obsessive)...she just always smelled like vanilla, okay. _

_"Oh, baby." He'd begin, eyes cool and suave, hair slicked back. "You could always repay me...by becoming my woman." He would say, and then hear the soft sigh of delight coming from her even softer body. _

_"Yes! Yes, Obito!" She would exclaim, arms wrapping themselves around his neck, her eyes gazing at him like he was the only one for her, and Obito would do the same. _

Well he wouldn't realize how much he was into her until much, much later.

His eyes lit up with the imagined scene, clutching the journal in his hands with a fierce protectiveness. Maybe not today, she seemed rather in a bad mood by the way she stormed off. But sooner or later, she'd realize her attraction to him, it was only a matter of patience, and Obito wasn't all that patient. But he would be with time.

Suddenly curious as to what this journal had, even if it was probably just notes from class, he cracked open the binder, but was shocked by what he saw. Doodles? Not just that, a full body drawing of...him. Of Uchiha Obito. They weren't anything drawn by a six year old that's for sure, it looked professional, what amazing art talent she had! Obito felt extremely flattered- excited even.

He flipped through the pages, coming across more and more sketches of him, of his classmates as well. But mostly there was him, even his name had been written inside too many times to count, well let's be honest, Obito could hardly count past 9, and even then he skipped straight to 100. His heart skipped in a unsteady pace, he blushed at the pictures where she'd drawn herself, holding him, but they were older, much more mature versions of themselves. He had scars that went across one side of his face, but despite that her love was visible in the picture.

Did...Rin love him as much as he loved her? Ever since they'd met he knew straight away she was the one for him, the one who'd make him happy and be with him forever. That's what he felt, even at such a young age, his love for her was practically unstoppable. Normal people would have been crept the frickle frackle out by such exhibited obsession, Obito was no normal person as his stomach did flip-flops inside. Oh, he was young but he knew, without a doubt in his mind, that Rin would be his wife one day. Obviously, she thought so too, looking at the amount of pictures there were portraying a marriage between the two of them.

He was shown often comforting her, hugging her, touching her. Obito wouldn't be the type to lie and say he wouldn't want to do any of those things, in fact he _really_ wanted to do them all. He wanted to show her love. His love.

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

**1st Person - Nohara Rin**

Where was it!? No, no, no, my precious drawing's...my heart crumpled at my feet, I sat in my seat, searching through the books I had brought with me to school. My journal, the one I had started drawing all my doodles, and desires out on paper, to keep me from acting out, to forget the plan. To forget the fact I had to make Obito hate me. Had to make him shout venomous words my way, glaring as I walked into the room.

Shit, shit, shit...ugh, maybe I left it at home? On my bedside table. Which was funny because I was sure I had brought it with me. I was starting to get paranoid wasn't I. Crap. Hehe, yup, it's at home. Don't have to worry about it at all. Everything will be...just fine.

I set my head down on the table, struggling not to cry. I hated loosing things, I did it often back in my old life, had lost so many precious things, and I was trying to fix myself, make me a better person. I grumbled, rubbing at my eyes. Kurenai wasn't here that day, was sick or something so she had to stay home. I tried not to sob at that either.

I lifted my head to the door shifting open, my eyes spotting Obito. I grumbled again, seeing the biggest fricken grin ever. I wanted to draw it, was so tempted to sketch him like that, happy and being the ray of sunshine he always was. That made me want to cry even more, I couldn't sketch him without sketching it in the journal, I had to keep all the pictures together, so I could keep them in one place. So I wouldn't _loose_ them. Yeah, such a _great_ idea.

Obito strode over to the seat next to me, Kurenai's spot. Then he slid in, still grinning. I shot him a warning glare, but was so sad I couldn't quite fake it well enough.

"Obito-kun, you're late!" The teacher called. Obito was always late.

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered. Then I noticed that he gripped something inside his hands. My. God. Damned. Journal. I seethed, he better not have peeked, he better not have peeked, he better not have peeked. My jaw hurt too much from the pressure I was using to clamp them shut. He passed me the notebook, a note at the top.

_You're cute when you're angry. _It said, I gaped, my mouth opening and shutting, eyes wide.

I found a spare sheet of paper in my regular notebook and wrote back, _Well you look stupid when you're trying._ A blatant lie, I was getting good at those. I loved when he acted like a fool, which he did look like when he tried hard, the classroom clown if you will, without the snotty teacher backtalk I was used to hearing in my old life.

_I guess if stupid means good-looking, then yeah. I am_ _stupid. _Obito wrote back, a grin on his face. I glared. He looked at the journal didn't he.

I didn't bother writing back, just pulled closer to him so I could whisper. "D-did you...look at it?" I asked, fear evident in my voice.

"...Uh, no?." Obito smiled, hands rubbing at the back of his neck. He did, he really did. I glared, looking at him with hard eyes. I watched him cave underneath my look, his face falling with it. "Okay, it was just peak."

He reached out a hand towards me, making me jerk back with fear. It was cold, this feeling was unpleasant and unnecessary. But I wouldn't cave, no_ I_ would stand tall and make him hate me, even if I had to change myself completely. I would protect hm 'til the end. No, not just him...I'd protect _them_, every last one of them if I had to. I had to stop this.

"Don't bother, Obito. You need to hate me, please...I'm begging you." I looked at him, pleading with my eyes, terrified of his touch. I'd never felt it before, not once ever. I didn't plan to either, unless absolutely necessary. Tears stung at my eyes, my breath catching with longing. I wanted him to reach out again, so I could prove to myself it was alright. I wouldn't...break him.

But I would. And I knew it, it would be all my fault if I couldn't get him to just...stop.

"Never." He said, hands reaching for me again, touching my wrists. I choked on a sob, holding back in the public area. No one was watching us yet, intent on the teachers lessons.

Uchiha Obito's touch was a tentative grasp, like clawing through silky stranded hair, going straight through without harm. His touch made my arm quack, made my chest hurt, made my skin tingle.

"Please." I said softly. "It's for your own good."

He looked at me, confusion lighting his features.

"Just stay away from me, you idiot." I said, loud enough for the other classmates to overhear. I gave a half-hearted mock glare, fidgeting with my long hair, something unique to me that Rin hadn't had. Well I had short hair all my life, but this was of course because I hadn't had a hair-cut in a while, which I planned to have, of course.

The classroom busted into snickers, and I was left staring at Obito's pained expression.

Was I doing more harm than good?_ Don't worry, Rin, you're protecting him.  
_

_I want you to know, that even if I hurt you, you mean the entire world to me. _

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

After that horrible unfortunate event, I stopped my art, pursued my ninja path instead. I may not have had one, a path that would last long, but in order to protect Obito for as long as I had, I'd have to be the best god damn medic-nin I could be.

I was average at taijutsu, but only so because I used it often with Kurenai when we practiced, I would try my best to evade her, practicing my Mystical Palm Technique on myself if I was hurt in the process, then since she was a genjutsu user, we'd practice doing that too, experimenting the effects of using my healing to get out of genjutsu, or just evading being trapped in her illusions. I was just as average at genjutsu as well, even if my chakra control meant I could, I only learned through second-hand battles with Kurenai. Then we would bring in Guy, or Asuma into the fray, me and Kurenai working on our tag-team abilities.

The two weren't dating, no, they were too young for that. But Asuma did say he'd wait for her. That meant he could wait to give her a baby. Canon. So canon.

I was also rather average at fuinjutsu, having found a few scrolls to study, it was an interesting concept, something that scared shinobi so much, they eliminated the clan that were geniuses in that department. That's why I sometimes spent some time brushing up on the subject.

Anyways, I had a few ninjutsu I had been working on in private as well, finding out that although my chakra type hadn't been given away in the manga or the anime, I was a wind type. I also suspected an affinity to water as well, but I had no interest in such things.

The wind ninjutsu I was working on was something I'd seen Temari use in the manga, Wind Release: Wind Cutter Technique, the hand signs were easy enough as well, Tiger, Rabbit, Dog, Ram, and Dragon. I practiced using small fans at first, concentrating on manipulating my chakra to follow the currents in the air, bending them to my will. I had to say, this was rather difficult, took me a month to get the hand of it, and another one to semi-master it. Let's face it though, I wasn't the most offensive person there was in battle. I was a medic-nin, with extraordinary chakra control. My use was in staying back, only swinging in to heal.

So of course, I learned another technique that would help protect me if there were any assailants of any kind on the battle fields, the gale palm, a jutsu that would essentially knock back objects or people, halting their approach if only a little bit.

Because after all, my greatest defense was my offense.

I trained like that for the rest of my years in the academy, gaining the friendship of Guy and Asuma, completely ignoring Obito. It wouldn't stay like that for long...but if I could force him to hate me before-hand, I would do anything, absolutely anything at all. If only to protect _him_.

_I want you to know, that every particle, every cell in my body belongs to you._

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

I was nine now, an academy grad, the callings for teams being held as usual.

"...Ebisu, Might Guy, and Shiranui Genma." The teacher called, her voice colder than usual. This must have been hard for her.

"Team 7: Uchiha Obito, Nohara Rin, and Kakashi Hatake."

Wait, what? I knew this was canon, but I'd always been confused how Kakashi got into the team, being a Chunin by now, having been in my class for awhile until he went and graduated a year later. I was still confused, but I let bygones be bygones, and ignored my questions. Obito shot me a worried, self-conscious look, I returned a small smile, forgetting for the moment that I couldn't do that. I had to spare him at least the harm of miscommunication.

I looked around, searching for the signature white haired boy, but couldn't find him. He wasn't there, that was odd too, being in the "ninja rules are a must" phase by now. Hm, interesting.

I had worn CanonRin's Genin clothes for this occasion. The one with shurikan painting the fabric, it was a nice yellow-ish white color, which I'd liked enough to wear.

When the teachers finally released us, we all waited patiently for our new sensei's to come by, I ignored Obito during this wait as well. When Minato finally came by, there was also Kakashi trailing after him with a stern stare, dark eyes dead and unfeeling. Sheesh, Kakashi didn't look like the Kakashi _I_ knew. But he would be someday. After my death and Obito's supposed one.

Minato grinned, yellow hair up in spikes, wearing his Jonin clothes. Ugh, he was so attractive. Everyone in this god-damned place was attractive in some way, even Hayate with his adorable cough and dark circled eyes. Minato wasn't the 4th yet, but of course he would be soon, and then he would reach that dream he had. Kushina I was sure, was already his girlfriend, which I couldn't wait to meet her. Ahh, I bet she'd be even more of a looker in person, such eye-candy. Eye-candy everywhere. Sigh.

"Hello, my name is Namikaze Minato!" Minato said excitedly, getting both me and Obito pumped. For Obito I was sure it was because Minato was a Jonin that he thought he was so cool, for me? Minato was the main protagonist's father! He was _the_ Yellow Flash! The 4th Hokage! Aghhhhh, I held so much respect for the guy, even if some people wouldn't agree.

"H-Hi!" I said, blushing immediately at my out-burst.

"Okay, let's go to the roof," Minato said right before flashing away. Oh. My. God. He used it! The flash thingy! Ahh, I could die happy now. Life lived.

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

"So, little kiddies," Minato started, "Tell me a little about yourselves."

"What? But you haven't introduced yourself yet, and we only know your name!" Obito shouted, pointing directly at the guy.

Minato sighed, "Fine, My name is Namikaze Minato as you well know, I like my girlfriend, I hate nothing in particular, and my hobbies and aspirations are to become the next Hokage."

Obito shifted in his seat, beaming at the word "Hokage", biting his lip softly.

"Now lets go in order, Rin-san?" Minato asked, pointing at me with a smile. I sighed. Let's get this over with.

"Well, I'm Nohara Rin. I like medical ninjutsu, getting better at chakra control, and working to better achieve my goal of protecting this village. I dislike people who don't care for other people's privacy," A pointed, _I'm going to murder you one day _look Obito's way. "And my hobbies and aspirations don't just include striving to protect the village and give my life for it, but also to protect and give my life for a certain somebody." I resisted another pointed look at Obito and instead, pressed my palms to my cheeks.

_I want you to know what you mean to me, but it'd be the same thing as sending that boulder out myself. Same as if I had stabbed _you_ in the heart._

"Well, we're lucky to have such a loyal shinobi join the ranks." Minato murmured, a small smile for me. "Now, you." Obito grinned, rocking in his seat beside me.

"I'm Uchiha Obito! I like helping out the elderly and defenseless, I dislike jerks who go after the weak, and I will be the next Hokage! Not you, ya old fart!"

Minato broke out into laughter, "It's nice to have somebody share in this dream of mine. Now, Kakashi-kun."

"My name is Hatake Kakashi, and I like nothing in particular, my dislikes...and my ambitions are to become a respectful ninja."

I was silent at that, Kakashi was dead, completely dead. His voice was a monotone, his eyes darkened with apathy. Shit, I knew he was bad in this time, but I didn't think he was_ this_ bad. Ah, my kokoro.

Well, I guess you take your team-mates where you can get 'em.

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

It was the bell test that did me in, that broke whatever self-preservation I had.

I no longer cared enough by the fact that I was going to die one day, I was Nohara Rin and I owned it, I stopped purposely being a bitch to Obito, if only to soften the team a bit more, I still ignored his advances since becoming a team, but that was about it. I was friendly enough, and soon I was sure Obito had forgotten all about ever liking me, we were friends. Nothing more, and I couldn't hope for something anyways.

During the bell test, we had each attempted at acting alone, even me since I only begrudgingly accepted the tactical force of teamwork. I didn't want to turn out to care for these people, even Obito. I didn't want to leave the people I cared for when I died, because that meant I would still want to live. I couldn't have that. I couldn't be selfish, for when I became the jinchuriki of Isobu, I had to harden myself and commit suicide under Kakashi's chidori.

I had to save the village before I saved myself, no matter how scared I was to do that.

So, Team Minato worked on missions in the village for a while after the bell test, specifically to my enjoyment, from years of helping the old and getting kittens out of high up trees, Obito had an easy time dealing with this with only slight minimal complaining for a higher mission, we were at war after all, we needed the skills to protect our village at _all_ costs.

I had to agree, but the short missions allowed us some sort of experience with working on houses, tending to gardens, things that could be used to survive in the world without a village for support. It blossomed only a slight idea, but I let it slip by me with haste. There would be no thinking like that.

Then there was the extra time we had to train, something I loved with a burning passion, it was my life, working myself 'til I dropped. It allowed me to gain quite the bit of chakra reserves, chakra control, and skills in which I knew CanonRin hadn't had. She was_ just_ a mdeic-nin, me? I used being a medic-nin to the extremes.

You see, as I've said before, with medical ninjutsu, the chakra control used must be precise to every wound or exercise. When you added too much chakra or too little, the mystical palm technique either didn't work, or killed off cells that could've been used to fasten the healing process, worsening the effects it had on the injury, hence instead of practicing on actual people, we medic-nin used fish instead when we were beginners. Maybe not the nicest thing to any animal rights activists, but it was that or go off killing all those cute furry animals. I had no qualms with doing that either. This way, we could work on chakra control specifically used in medical ninjutsu without having someone bleed out on us.

What I did with this knowledge? I practiced incapacitating others with small bursts of chakra, and boy did this help with chakra reserves, in fact these bursts had to be so precise in their impreciseness, that it was often even harder to keep a subject alive if you did this, for this theory I had built an experiment using my thoughts and animals, as cruel as that was. I had learned that throughout all this, I could literally kill a small animal with a higher count of chakra put through, but if you leveled it, you could knock it out. I was barely starting to practice these things on bigger animals, and learned that the amount of chakra put in varied for sizes. Which meant to have any effect at all on a person, I had to learn how to measure out the size and weight of each enemy I was dealing with, and with my close attention to detail, I was starting to get the hang of it. But trust me this was _hard_. The hardest thing I had ever attempted at doing in this life in terms of skill testing and medical ninjutsu, I planned to use this for the Chunin Exams for when we would take it, when I was eleven finally.

I couldn't take all the credit though, I got some ideas from Kabuto, him being such an effective medic-nin himself, and had gone as far as to work with my wind chakra the same way he did when he made chakra scalpels of sorts, trying to make my jutsu better than his, if that was at all possible. Even if I wouldn't live to the point where I _needed_ any of this, it felt comforting to know such things on your enemies, perhaps I'd write a short scroll of information for Kakashi to open at a later date.

Even as the thought formed I denied it, that'd be spoon feeding him, and he didn't deserve that. He was a big boy after all, and I had complete faith in the future. His future. Their future. Geez, I sounded like a mother-hen.

I was also definitely practicing using the mystical palm from a distance, so I didn't have to be up front when I healed, which all this training took me to up all my time. I was also thinking on learning that technique Kabuto used to keep damage to a minimum, when he anticipated where the enemies blow would occur then start healing that area even before the hit, but I only had memories of him to base my techniques off of, so my skills of course were lacking, but I will say I tried my damnest, I would never be the weak link of the team.

So, as I've also said before, my _defense_ was my best _offense_.

I would never be weak.

Not to say I was good, but I was definitely getting better than your average Genin, but only with my control. I was just a workaholic obsessed with proving to myself that I could protect my loved ones...maybe even protect Obito from his fateful meeting with Madara, maybe save him before Madara could take him.

Another denied thought, I just had to hope Obito...wouldn't feel broken after my death.

_I want you to know, that even after I'm long gone, you will never be alone._

* * *

(｡・/ε/・｡)

* * *

"Listen up, my cute little genin! I have a surprise for you!" Minato said, grinning in that signature way. _Ah, shoot me now, he is so adorable._

"What is it, Sensei?" Obito asked, a frown burrowed onto his face, _ugh you're cute, too_.

"It's a surprise, idiot." Kakashi mumbled, _and you are so un_-_cute. Lame._

Minato laughed, "It_ is_ a surprise, but I can tell you now. I've decided to include you guys into the Chunin Exams!"

I had been anticipating this, ever since turning eleven, I'd waited patiently every day to hear those words.

I jumped, giggling while absentmindedly bringing Obito into a tight hug, he laughed, eyes laced with confusion. I clutched onto him, the anchor that kept me from jumping into the sky with happiness. I was going to become a Chunin! I mean, there were no maybe's, there was a definite yes, I would be a Chunin.

"Yes! I'm so excited! I have this new technique that I've been working on, I'm so excited to use it!" I exclaimed to Obito, hardly realizing what the hell I was doing. I was just soooo happy, even if I was going to die anyways, it was the most exciting thing I could think of, the perfect place to try out new things, while gaining a new status in the village. Suddenly, my impending death didn't seem so close, it felt distance. I had time, time I could spend with Obito, with Kakashi and Minato. I had a _life_.

_Oh, Rin, but the closer you get the harder it'll be for them, then worse things will happen. _

Oh...yeah. I let go of Obito, suddenly and with a quick jolt. I laughed, a shaky one all to familiar. I used it often around these people, when I _wanted_ to be closer, but held myself back.

_I want you to know, that I will always be watching, even if I can't stay with you._

* * *

**A/N: **So, had this idea when I suddenly browsed Pixiv, then I came across an incredibly sad, heart-wrenching drawing of ObiRin. Rin was holding Obito, keeping him up, grounding him while every thing was colors, the only dark the shade of their clothes. Then on the flip side, like a ripple, was Obito holding Rin's dead body, bent over in the dark of his mind.

This gave me the idea of giving Rin life, and I had been wanting to do another SI involving someone from their time, so I picked Rin. I would insert my OC into Rin because let's be honest, it'd be interesting to go through all that. (And I love Obito.)

And yes, I will give you this, Rin won't die in this SI, but I won't give away how I'll save her.

Thank you for reading all this way through, please review to let me know what you think. Updates will be...I think every Friday. That's a fun day.

_Edit: I just realized that the moment where Obito and Rin have that one conversation happens during the Chunin Exams. Sigh. So I edited out~ _


	2. 知っている - Know

**The Promise "Sarah's Theme" - Overseas Version**

Make my wish come true, let darkness fade to light  
Show me there's still hope, show me it's not over  
Battles we can win, our struggle lies within  
Will we live to greet the dawn?  
Love will not leave you, hate will not heal you  
Promise me one day that peace shall reign.

_By Frances Maya_

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you people know I don't actually know much on this time frame, only what it shows in the manga. I don't know much about Rin either, since again the manga doesn't tell us much. I made that up about her being from a civilian family, since I don't know I can't say for sure. I don't know shit on her family, m'kay. Which is the reason why I didn't write much on her childhood, if it's requested I may do like mini chapters added onto the actually chapter.

I'm also not sure about the Chunin Exams, trying to make sense of all this! Sorry if this ends up completely off, working with the little I have since I've only read the manga portion of this, I have not watched the anime portion(is that even out yet? Geez animu is slow).

Also, the thing about Kakashi, I'm so confused with him back then...ugh just play along with my crap musings, kay? Good. Sassy Sizzle is sassy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the series Naruto or the character Rin, I only own my OC that plays the role of Rin.

**Warning:** Rin cusses a lot. :I Shame on her.

* * *

**知っている - Know.  
**

"Why does Kakashi have to join us for the Exams anyways?" Obito asked as we headed to some barbeque restaurant. I sighed. "Me and Rin got this, and he's not even a Genin!"

"Obi-baka, he's here because we need three people on our team to even attempt the Chunin Exams." I said moodily. I hadn't slept at all the night before, too excited to think or sleep. "Right, Mina-sensei?"

"Correct, Rin-chan. Kakashi-kun is a curious case, I guess, so the proctors are allowing him to participate for you guys."

It wasn't for us and I knew it. There was a war going on, if we needed an extra teammate despite him already have passed, then so be it. If they needed more ninja's they would pardon a lot of things, just so they could send us out for harder missions that protected the village better. They needed more Chunin. It wasn't just so we could pass, make us feel special. No, we were just pawns to add to their arsenal of weaponry and medic numbers. Did I mind? No, not at all. Pushing out more ninja's meant the war would swing in our favor. I vowed many times that I'd do anything for this village, because this was the home of the future. Home to Naruto.

"Really? I guess I could live with that..." Obito grumbled, pouting slightly. I couldn't help the sly grin I slid his way.

"Obi-kun, we're lucky to have a Chunin level member, not everyone has that on their team. So, we're special. Means we have a higher chance at passing, too." Which we were, there was no doubt in my mind that we were ready, I didn't put through all that training effort for nothing. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. That I was strong enough to help, even if one day that would be useless as I would be made to be sacrificed.

"Cool! I'm glad then, we _are_ Team 7 after all! It wouldn't be the same without you, Kakashi!" Obito exclaimed, grinning at the masked boy who just tilted his head in slight acknowledgement. I wish it would always be this way, hoped I could stay this way.

What a sad fact to have, knowing your own death. Unable to do a thing to stop it.

I wanted to prove to myself that maybe I could.

* * *

**(๑•́ ω •̀๑)**

* * *

**Round 2 - Team Matches**

We had of course, passed the first test with flying colors, next was the dreaded team match were each team was pitted against one another. I already knew who we were going to be put up against. So we waited at the gates that lead to the Forest of Death, Obito finding it just the best time to go help out an old geezer even though he knew he had to be here...that little shit. It was to be expected though. Obito was never here on time, always having to go help someone.

"Am I late?" An out of breath Obito began, running into the clearing. I choked on a laugh, just as I always could, I summoned him with my mind.

"Let me guess, an old lady needed your help?" I cut in before Kakashi could, sliding a sly glance towards him, eyeing this candy in his mouth. "You should probably take that out, Obi-kun."

"Yup! That, and I got something in my eye." Obito said, coming to stand close by me. I took comfort in that, no longer feeling the nervousness I had before. I resisted the urge to lean into him, I was so stupid, so very stupid. "But why?"

"You might end up loosing it in battle, here I have some cloth we can wrap it in." I said, yanking out a round blue cotton piece of fabric. I pushed it to his lips, beckoning him to spit it out.

"Fine," He murmured, then opened his mouth to let the sweet drop into my hands. I wrapped it up and placed it in my pocket. All gone exactly as planned.

"You're too soft on him, Rin." Kakashi started, coming over with angry eyes. "To be a full-fledged ninja you have to go by rules and regulations, anyone else who doesn't are just trash."

I blew out a whistle, "Harsh," I murmured. That was his argument every time. Did Obito ever listen? Nah, he continued to help out with the village, what I didn't get was why they were all old people. Did he just...I mean, Madara was old when he found him...did old people just...? I couldn't think about that. "Well, I'm pretty sure we're up next so, get ready you guys. Stop fighting, it isn't the time."

"O-okay, Rin!" Obito blushed, a smile lighting his face. He didn't even know I what I did to him, lucky guy. He would surely think it odd that as a medic-nin, I could be so skilled at my age. Practice, pure practice.

We got ready, heading into the forest. Suddenly I wasn't so sure I was skilled enough yet, to make sure we didn't have a bad time of it here. Could I even pull it off? Could I measure their sizes without messing up? Was my range not as far as I thought? The only thing that kept me from running back, running away was Obito and Kakashi, bickering along the way. It was comforting fight, familiar and calming for me. Odd that their anger towards each other could calm me so much.

Before I knew it, I was right before Ebisu, Guy, and Genma. They got into their practiced stances, and again I had the odd sense that maybe my plan wouldn't work.

I got into a stance of my own, hanging back, pushing my feet far apart, ready to use gale palm if I had to. Kakashi followed suit, while Obito was caught staring at me. I smiled at him, giving him a thumbs up. Then before we knew it, Guy was heading towards us, and Obito was in front, puffing out his cheeks. Guy made it to him before Obito could finish his fireball, kicking him into the cheek, sending him flying backwards. I'd already started my response before it'd even happened, before the match even occurred, I'd inserted my chakra for healing at the moment I touched the cloth to his lips.

I pushed at my chakra, sensing it near me, manipulating it to heal his cheek with vigor. I broke a sweat of course, I was practiced but working from afar was always tough work. Obito kicked himself back up, and Kakashi and I headed towards the surprised faces of Ebisu and Genma. I forced my hands to work the gale palm, pushing the slightly surprised Ebisu to the ground.

I grabbed at his collar, then pressed my hand to the back of his neck, sending a surge of chakra to his brain, forcing it to send him to unconsciousness. He sighed out, his body collapsing.

I smirked, just as planned with this guy.

I turned to see Kakashi knocking Genma backwards, his head hitting the ground roughly. He was unconscious as well. He glanced at me, nodding before jumping to the fray of Obito and Guy's fight. Obito had managed a small fireball to Guy's face, probably for payback. Kakashi got in, hitting Guy to the ground, then the three went at it, I would occasionally jump in, if only just to heal scraps and bruises, but that was it. Then the two, Kakashi and Obito, wrestled Guy to the ground. I shot through, placing my palm at the base of his throat, then sent my chakra through.

"Team 7 wins!" I cheered out, grabbing Obito and Kakashi, pulling the both of them into a tight hug. Kakashi scowled, Obito blushed, and we were a team. And I was the happiest I could have ever been. It worked...my theories worked.

_I want you to guys to know, that I've been doing my best to protect you._

* * *

**(๑•́ ω •̀๑)**

* * *

"That was so cool!" Obito exclaimed while we walked with Minato to enjoy another group lunch.

"I'm surprised, Rin, I wasn't sure your plan would work." Kakashi murmured, I had pushed him to listen to my pleas, hoping I could alleviate whatever doubt he had in me. I wasn't the best team member, I hardly ever payed any attention to the two. Never tried for friendship or teamwork, doing what I wanted to do. Kakashi was the same, but this just showed him that working as a team _was_ important, and probably would be the deciding factor of our relationship. We were friends now, I guess.

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy."

"What was that you did back there, by the way, Rin?" Minato asked, brows furrowed.

"Oh, are you talking about healing Obi-kun from afar? I'd been working on my distance, so I wouldn't need to be as close up to them to heal all the time." I mumbled.

"No, not that, though that's just as impressive."

"Wait, what I did to Guy and Ebisu?" I grinned. "I've also been working on a way to send people to unconsciousness, if you send enough chakra through to the brain waves, you could disrupt some processing within your enemy, if you targeted a specific area, you could send them to sleep, a temporary form of narcolepsy."

"Can a lot of people do that?" Kakashi asked, his own brows furrowing. I shook my head along with Minato.

"No, it's too complicated, why would you need to have an offensive type of medic-jutsu if you were just a medic-nin? Not everyone who is a medic-nin _wants_ to fight, so they tend to stay back. So I would assume this is unique to Rin in her case." Minato praised, a grin on his face as he beamed down at me. "Ever heard of the Sannin, Tsunade?"

I nodded, a smiled brightening my face. "She's a legendary medic-nin, said to have monster strength. She's a medic-nin but she's so cool, she fought along side Jiraiya and Orochimaru." I felt a blush at my cheeks as I thougth about the woman, I looked up to her so much, someone who fought _and_ protected. She'd become the 5th Hokage later as well, not that I'd get to meet her awesomeness.

"Maybe someday you could be at her level."

I snickered, "As if, I already know I'm dying an early death." I paused, looking at Kakashi bickering with Obito about medic-ninja's. They walked close to each other, arguing while walking up ahead of us. "They're going to give me that early death, I'll bet."

Minato followed my gaze and laughed. "That'd be for the both of us."

_You don't know how eerily right you are._

* * *

**(๑•́ ω •̀๑)**

* * *

"Come here, Obi-kun. I want to make sure your cheek's healed properly." I beckoned him to a bench, a grin on the both of our faces.

"Yeah, yeah." He mumbled, sitting next to me. I smirked at the wound, almost completely healed, too. One of my best long-range healing in a long time. I fished out a bandage from my pocket and rubbed it on.

"It's not bad," I murmured, patting him on the cheek.

"Hey, y'know by helping me, it's like your saving the world."

I snickered at this, more like sending it to it's doom. I gave him a feigned look of surprise. "Eh?"

"Well, y'see, I'm gonna become Hokage and stop this war." He ranted. I smiled at him, more like create a new one. "If I'm not in good shape I can't do that...got it?"

"Yeah! It's a bit...complex, though."

"And to do that...well...you have to stay at my side and watch over me...it's like...you know.." Obito blushed, looking away from my gaze.

"Hm?"

He stood up, showing me his back, the red and white fan, the symbol of the Uchiha. "I'm Uchiha Obito,"

"Yup, I got that part." I joked. A smile was at my face when I blinked to see him turned to face me, his head aligned with the Hokage's on the mountain.

"And I'm gonna be the next Hokage, Rin."

"Then you better do your best!" I cheered.

* * *

**(๑•́ ω •̀๑)**

* * *

**Round 3 - Individual Matches**

I was paired up with Ebisu, that went obviously well, as I just had to do my little trick, and having my chakra still inside him, I just had to do a little tinkering around. Cool, huh? That wore me out though. I would be out of commission if my boys decided to get hurt in their battles.

Obito was at first paired with Guy, which again I was confused over, seeing as how Kakashi had been the one to beat Guy in this place. I decided to not care, see what this would bring and not mull over the small details.

"Go get 'em, Obi-kun!" I yelled from the stands. He shot me an incredulous look, a blush heating his cheeks. What kind of fangirl would I be if I couldn't cheer him on, at least from the sidelines? He shot me a thumbs up, then turned to face Guy with a sneer and thumbs down. I had heard once that thumbs downing someone in this culture meant, _go die_. Which was a nice sentiment.

Guy eyed him with confusion, getting ready right before he went in for an attack.

That match didn't end well.

Kakashi fought against Guy next. I tried my best not to squeal when Kakashi hit Guy, sending shivers of excitement through me. I clapped my hands together, beaming down at Kakashi with complete awe. It was always so weird watching watching him fight, completely and entirely enthralling to see his movements, so graceful and precise, you couldn't help but fall in love.

That battled went canon, as did the rest of the battles, I supposed.

Aside from my fight with Ebisu. Not really.

"Gah!" Obito complained, disappointed in himself. I patted his back, walking near him to at least comfort him in knowing I wasn't the least bit surprised. Wow, actually maybe I should've been surprised, at least for his sake. Which would hurt less for him?

I decided to remain silent.

* * *

**(๑•́ ω •̀๑)**

* * *

Minato handed Kakashi his flak jacket, another thing I was confused about but refused to mention that Kakashi was already a Chunin, therefore didn't need that. Obito was of course bummed, right until Minato handed the both of us the same thing.

I racked my brain with what would happen next, Kakashi was going to become a Jonin soon...Canon!Rin had set up a party, which I would do as well, of course. But I would only include Obito and Minato, everyone else wasn't as close to us, and honestly? I just wanted my boys close to me, as that would be near the end...near the end to all out happy memories.

I whispered to Obito to meet me at the training grounds in an hour. Then set out to get some snacks to eat.

When I got there, I was actually pretty shocked to see Obito hiding that cursed bouquet, waiting for my arrival. I laughed, forgetting everything that plagued me as I went to stand right beside him.

Obito's eyes bulged as he clutched his hands into fists, thrusting the flowers into my hands. I gasped at his show of forcefulness. In fact, I nearly choked on my shock.

"I-I promised myself, that I'd confess to you after I became a Chunin. Now I am one, so...Rin! Would you...would you...!"

I crumbled under those words, forgetting to hear the rest. My eyes widened and I felt like water, like a puddle of dirty water, being stepped in to cause ripples and splashes. This wasn't fair, not to him, not to me. This wasn't fair. Not at all. Tears sprang to my lids, this wasn't fair. But there was no turning back. I couldn't make him hate me and take his love away, that'd be the exact same thing I didn't want. I just hoped, inwardly, that when I died, he'd never stop loving me, never give up his love...Itachi never gave up, so why couldn't he be the same way?

I rubbed at my eyes.

"R-rin, what's wrong?" Obito asked, coming to rub at my arms in a comforting gesture. I crumbled into his arms, my hands going to reach around his waist.

"I wish things weren't this way..." I said in English, willing him to understand in some way what I meant. "Obi-kun..." I have been since even before my birth. Even before my first death.

Obito pulled me into his arms, keeping me upright, holding me with the strength I lacked in that moment. He kissed the crown of my head, the roses crushing in the middle of our bodies. His heat made me nervous, made my heart and stomach flip. He made my mind boggle when I smelt him, made my heart croak with lust.

"Is this about the war? It's okay, Rin, everything's alright, after all, I'm gonna be the one to end it all. Somehow."

_How nearly eerily accurate._

His hands found my chin, lifting my head as my eyes rose with it, my gaze met his. Eyes of an Uchiha. I finally understood Hashirama's thinking, the love, the warmth such a person of bloodline could hold within himself. I saw myself reflected, and yet I saw someone different. Who...was this me?

I hadn't cut my hair, and it seemed that I'd lost the cute innocence that Cannon!Rin had originally, my lips pursed and my eyes had no light. I was consumed from the inside and out, my fears and doubts all showing in the eyes of someone so warm...so kind. How he could unknowingly become my poison, if he knew, his goodness wouldn't be able to take it.

I wanted to slap it away, his hands, but I hesitated and in instead backed off, a faked sly grin on my lips. I hoped my eyes lit up then, in some way to prove to myself that I wasn't already dead. "Obi-kun, I don't think so. It's the job of many to save others, not someone as simple as you. And oh, about your confession, I'd hold off if I were you." Somehow, that sparked the real reason why I'd come here.

I found a tree near the fields and set my things down, then sat down on the grass, thankful for the black shorts I wore. No grass stains for this girl.

My hand graced the grass beneath me, highlighting an area for Obito to sit as if it was some sort of car and he was buying. Well in my head it was like that. In reality he stood there miffed for only a second before grumbling to himself and sitting down besides me.

"Oh yeah, Kakashi's becoming a Jounin soon," I murmured as I set out the food from inside my bag. "I was thinking that we could throw a small celebration, just us Team 7." I set the dishes out and spreaded them to look a little fancy, a smirk coming to mind at all the fabulous designs I'd put into the bento. All the little refrences that I knew of, that made me feel comfortable and more...me. I had designs from all kinds of anime fandoms, even some from the visual novels I played in my old life when I had time to. It would always surprise me with the little things I remembered, even after a decade of death.

That was another shock for me. I had been dead in that world for a decade, by such a long time...I could've done so much more...

"Already? Damn, he's fast." Obito muttered, looking as if he just ate something sour. I laughed and patted his back.

"Yeah, isn't he? We just made Chunin and he's one upping us. The bastard."

Obito grinned, "One day we'll be just as good! Even better!"

I hit his shoulder.

"Obi-kun! Shoot for Hokage!" I shouted, nearly jumping as I knocked the clear juice container around on my lap.

"And you'll be my wife, Rin." Obito said, utterly and completely serious. "I'll stop this war and be with you."

I looked at my lap, hands coming together, fiddling and playing with my fingers. I gave a wistful smile to myself.

"Obito, that's kind of impossible for me. I already know I'm going to die in this war. Call it a woman's intuition." Or my basic memory. "And besides, who'd want to be the wife of such a loser?" I scoffed, swiping my hair to the side as best I knew how. I couldn't meet those eyes. The eyes that loved too much.

"How could you talk like that?" He asked, a frown at his lips. I shrugged, my nails biting into my skin. My body heaved a sigh, I couldn't just lie to him, but I did. I had to. "That's just too sad..." His voiced shook a little but I kept my gaze locked to a snail trailing around in its everyday life.

"Because I'm not afraid of death."

I'd died once, it was just a sweet calmness that filled silence. Who said it'd be so bad? Maybe this _was_ my after life. Who could say. I'd been dead for years. Even for that long...the pain of having died didn't last, it was swept clean away like a breeze of soft warmth.

"Well I am, I can't be as brave as you, but more than anything...I'm afraid to lose you. A-and Kakashi."

_Rin was...she was_ _my only ray of light..._

I laced my hand into his and squeezed. "Even if one dies, you have to keep going, let others fill that void, right?" I gave him one of my exuberant smiles that I knew warmed his heart just as his smiles did to me. Tears slipped from his eyes as they widened.

"Living in a world without you guys wouldn't be living at all." He sobbed. "I don't think I'd be able to take it."

I chuckled, softly and bitterly. "Obito, we don't have a perfect world." We never did.

We never will. Not even if you try to make one.

"But I'll promise you something." I said softly, digging my nails into the flesh of both of our hands. I looked at him seriously, my eyes slitting to daggers. "For as long as I live, I will watch you."

Always and forever, watching my beloved from afar.

* * *

**(๑•́ ω •̀๑)**

* * *

I never liked illusions.

Yet I succumbed to many of them, always lying to myself or to others. This was an illusion too, was it not?

"Will I make it?" Obito yelled as he rushed into the clearing.

"Nope, because you're late!" Kakashi yelled, right as I remembered it. "Obito! What time did you think we were meeting? You idiot! If you're a full-fledged ninja you should naturally follow the rules and regulations strictly!"

"No...on the way, I had to show I had to show an old woman carrying luggage...plus, there was something in my eye."

Kakashi huffed, "What? That's a lie!"

"Hey! Don't talk like that Kakashi," Minato started a grin formed from his lips. "You went with the old lady, didn't you...Obito?"

"I carried her luggage, too!"

"You're a real pushover..." I giggled at the scene, ah, how these occurrences I would miss.

Kakashi grumbled, "You should be getting mad at Obito. Every single time, those ninjas who don't follow the rules and regulations are called trash! That's how it is!"

Minato chuckled nervously, while my eyebrows furrowed. Obito rubbed at the eye he stuck drops into. "Have you no kindness in you? It's always about the rules! The regulations! Just shut up!"

"Hey, guys. Calm down? Why is it like this every time?" I scolded, frowning at the two boys. "We're on the same team after all." I resisted the desire to punch them down, the way Sakura probably would've done, but I wasn't her, I wasn't even Rin.

"Rin you're too easy-going towards Obito...this is a very important day for me..."

"Yeah...yeah it is..." I trailed off, sadness washing over me like a cold ocean wave.

"...What was it again?" Obito asked. This time I really did hit him.

We ignored him and started walking off, ready to get to our mission location.

"Well...today Kakashi is inaugurated as a jounin, just like me. To make missions efficient, myself and his team will be split, since the military power of Konoha has hit an all-time low now." Minato started, his smile as bright as ever as we neared ever closer to the countries borders. This was the day one of his students would become a leader after all. We were probably like his children, watching us grow up...forming bonds with us. It was for the first time I realized what his guidance meant to me. What being in this team...meant to me.

"Split...then..." Obito began, a face drawn in confusion.

"Yeah! That's right. Kakashi will become the commander of your three man team, and I'll be on my own." Minato finished.

"I told you about it before, Obito. Remember? To give Kakashi a present."

"Sorry...I wasn't listening." I saw Kakashi twitch at that, only a slight movement but I saw it.

I hit him again.

"I'll give you this!" Minato handed Kakashi one of his kunai, the special ones that he used to do his jutsu. "It's a little heavy because of it's odd shape, but when you get used to it, it's easy to use." Kakashi gave his thanks with an emotionless face, his voice giving away nothing, but I knew he was at least happy.

"And this is from me. Here, Kakashi," I said, handing him the gift wrapped in some cloth I had found. It was a medical kit, just as Rin had brought, too. The day Kakashi became a jounin. I didn't expect the tears, but they happened. Just one step closer I was to losing everything, this was a sign that this too...was but a stupid illusion. Everything would leave me, I would be dealt death and it just...wasn't fair.

My teeth gritted against each other as I worked to dissipate the anger that fueled me. None of this...none of this should happen.

"Thanks." Kakashi mumbled as he looked at Obito expectantly, his hand outstretched.

"Wha...what's with the hand!? I didn't do anything for you! Absolutely nothing!"

"That's fine...make yourself useful, carry my stuff for me."

Obito's eyes widened in disbelief. "It's a mystery how you even became a jounin!"

"I don't want to talk to you about it."

The Uchiha boy's body shook with anger, as he gripped his hand he brought it up high. "I'm Uchiha Obito of the Uchiha clan! I will surpass you! As soon as I awaken this sharingan!"

"The Uchiha clans are all elite ninjas, aren't they? That's what I thought, but..."

"What?"

I growled, this was seriously getting on my nerves. "Guys, shut the fuck up and calm down."

"Oi! Can I explain the mission now? We're almost at the country border."

We all looked back, me and Obito gulping while Kakashi calmly looked towards Minato.

I already_ know_ what's going to happen. And I dread it as much as possible.

* * *

**(๑•́ ω •̀๑)**

* * *

**A/N: **Yo, Sassy Sizzle here, uhm...sorry this is really late. Recently I've switched schools and I had finals after Christmas break for my last school, so I haven't really had time to work on anything. Everything still is a bit hectic, but yeh, next chapter will be coming sooner than last time, kay?

So, I think you all know whats coming next, and why I didn't write like 10K+ like last time. Next chapter wraps up the important beginning. Soooo yeehh. Then goes onto other things, like how Rinbby survives and crap. I have things planned, whether they'll be accepted I don't know. I'm not even sure if I like this update, and I'm def not sure what the frick really happened during these times.

BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE NEARLY 100 FOLLOWS AND...dasjkda JUST WOW. XD FIRST CHAPTER AND SO MUCH? THANK YOU SO MUCH, I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO READ. AND THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS. I KNOW IM BAD AT REPLYING (Meaning I only reply to those who ask questions, or just feel like replying) BUT YEEEH THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I'm done. In short, thanks for everything. I hope you enjoyed this update. /Not edited okay, so many mistakes, so very many. I don't have time to beta my work /hangs head/ I'm so sorry.


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